How to choose a sex toy

Criteria for selecting a suitable sex toy

The hardness of sex toys

Softness is important for larger sex toys. For small sex toys up to 3.5cm in diameter, hardness does not play much of a role. It is measured with a durometer on a scale of 0 to 100HC (more sex toy testing), which correspond to 0-100%. Human skin on soft tissue is about 0.5HC, loose muscle is 7.5HC, and maximally stretched muscle is up to 25HC. You can easily squeeze 0-1 HC material a few cm, 10HC hardness material to a depth of about 1cm. Beach volleyball 30HC (no force dent within 2-3mm), normal volleyball 50HC (no force dent about 1mm) and old tennis ball 60HC (no force dent) and hard material like glass, metal 100 HC. For sex toys made of hard silicone - vibrators up to 35mm and plugs or pins, the hardness is around 50-75HC and there is no point in measuring. The body does not distinguish hardness from 30HC upwards. Likewise for smaller vibrators made of hard ABS plastic where it's closer to 100%.

Ideal hardness for large dildos and anal plugs - 7.5HC (muscle hardness) and its benefits

Single layer dildos

Up to a hardness of 20HC, a regular sized penis sex toy is soft enough to feel like part of your body. For extreme stretching sex toys with a diameter of 5cm or more you already need ideal softness of dildos at the level of permissible human muscle, i.e. 7.5HC (7.5%). Dildo with hardness 10-20hc is still very pleasant (much better than 20 or 30HC), but not ideal. 

With an extreme dildo or anal plug with an ideal hardness of around 7.5 HC or 3-10HC the best performance can be achieved. A soft plug with ideal hardness and elasticity will release the tissue gradually. The muscle around the mucous membrane contracts and relaxes itself around the soft pin and therefore actually massages itself. This means less damage to the mucous membrane due to the spontaneous reaction of the muscle in an attempt to expel the object, faster release, faster long-term stretching. Also a better optical impression. A soft dildo hurts as much as a 1-2cm narrower hard dildo. So a soft dildo is more motivating. A soft dildo also mechanically abrades and deforms the tissue less. So less risk of hygiene and other health complications. Too soft a toy (with a hardness of 0-3%) is already hard to insert and has a limited ability to stretch tissue due to too much elasticity. The exceptions are penis sleeves, which are good even very soft, and vaginas, which are usually made in 0.5 firmness.

Ideally soft dildos sometimes don't stand quite straight without support, but it's worth the benefits above. Ideally soft dildos (extra soft) are furthermore a must for oral sex training, and sexual dominatrixes even introduce such soft dildos without any problems. Extasica makes giant dildos softer than the competition, and in an ideal hardness of 7.5HC. By comparison, the market standard for Liquid Silicone is 25HC and Mr. Hankey Toys' extreme toys are 21HC hardness - the softer "75% base hardness" variant then 16HC. However, even that is too hard for an extreme dildo. 

Double layer dildos

The inner layer of the dildo is similar to the human penis and the glans and outer layer are hard around 20-25HC and close to 0 HC. These dildos have a sort of skin, a very soft glans and the upper part of the testicles. The inner hard layer provides erectness much like the inner spongy tissue of the penis when it is maximally aroused and filled with blood. Are double layer dildos more realistic versus single layer dildos in lower hardness? It depends on the angle of view and the setting of the corresponding hardness of the dildo.

Closest to reality is the softer dual-layer dildo (10-15HC/0HC), followed by the softer single-layer dildo (7.5HC) and then the standard market hardness dual-layer dildo (20-25HC/0HC) and finally the classic single-layer dildo with standard market hardness (25HC).

The skin of the male penis and especially the glans is much softer (near 0HC) than the hard inner tissue of the penis (20-25HC). A double layer dildo with a standard hardness of 25/0HC reflects this. But the maximum soft silicone or TPE 0HC obviously does not yet reach the softness and elasticity of human skin and extra soft human tissue (e.g. skin or penis glans). That's why a softer single-layer dildo with a hardness of 7.5HC is still better sensationally and functionally than a double-layer dildo with a standard hardness (25/0 HC).

Supporting this conclusion is the fact that the male penis is fully erect only when aroused. Often not until some time after intercourse, as we see in porn films. Thus, for a considerable part of sexual activity, the male penis is slightly softer, e.g. at the level of 10-15HC. And it appears as a relatively single layer of semi-hard tissue (10HC) rather than a hard interior and soft surface.

A single layer dildo of ideal softness already offers a very solid realistic and pleasurable glow and yet by 2024 almost no one has them on the market apart from sex shop Extasica. Most sex shops have only single layer dildos of standard hardness or in small quantities double layer dildos in standard. That is why we had little need to introduce softer double layer dildos (10/0HC) alongside the soft single layer dildos. But from 2025 onwards, we're going to try.

Quality, safety and colour of sex toys

The safety of sex toys is often neglected even by reputable sex shops (more on the page About Extasica). With metal objects, even a small irregularity can be very painful or even cutting inside and indicates a low quality sex toy. Perfumed vibrators or dildos, which can burn the sensitive mucous membranes of some people or even cover the rubber smell, are not suitable. Such often go hand in hand with toxins (more Sex aid materials).

Black and brown TPE sex toys, or any silicone toys, will not stain with stool when used anally. On the other hand, the light and flesh-coloured ones do not show small dust, e.g. from a towel or hard-to-wash gel residues. But with plugs, vibrators or double dildos this is not important, because you can hardly see them when using them anyway :).

Size and suitability of sex toys

Don't go overboard with the size of sex toys. A well-washed salad cucumber or carrot can be used to test the size of a sex toy for vaginal or anal sex. For many people, these inexpensive natural sex tools may be enough. Hygienically, they pose a higher risk than purpose-made sex toys. But no one has ever died from a pickle. But other natural objects can hide other problems. For example, a pepper burns long after use, a banana - remnants of the flesh may remain, or the insufficiently smooth skin may injure, the cone may open and prevent removal. Similarly, whipped cream, marmalade or other snacks are not suitable as a gel or served on female genitalia or they provide good conditions for infection. You can find more about the suitability and risks of different materials of erotic aids in the link Sex toy materials and maintenance. Sometimes customers choose toys that are too small. The diameter of 3,5cm should gradually master every beginner - adult and anal.

A lot of people unnecessarily choose toys that are too small, up to 3cm in diameter. That's too small for both vagina and anal. Even baby poo is sometimes up to 5cm in diameter, so an adult can certainly handle a 3.5cm wide dildo to start with. But if your partner has a psychological aversion to anal sex, a small butt plug or small dildo to start with is not money wasted. Later on, these small sex toys can be combined with an established penis.

The added value of a sex toy

By combining different sex toys and situations, new and stronger experiences can be achieved. There is no point in having e.g. a hogtie cross, bed straps and other simple low quality bondage tools. These can be (in our case without any extra charge) more fully and safely replaced by a combination of good quality leather handcuffs and a rope or stylish chain. We also don't recommend cheap riding whips - a plastic bar wrapped in PVC leather gives just as blunt a blow as a plain plastic bar.

Why do sex shops have mostly sex toys from China and not from the USA or Europe?

We generally do not recommend European and especially not American sex toys. These are either overpriced products and even more often resale goods from China under an expensive western distributor's brand. The most famous case is the German distributor Orion and its brand You2Toys.

80-90% of erotic merchandise is made in China and this trend is getting stronger. China has been playing a major role in the sex toy segment ever since 2017, not only in price, but in materials and technology. For example, Liquid silicone vibrators are only made in China, even though it is a technology purchased 2019 from Germany. In the West, production and often development is simply not worthwhile. Reputable western companies like Doc Johnson and especially the relatively low quality Pipe Dream and German Satisfyer offer 10, 20 year old products of lower quality mostly also made in China. Until people stop buying it for that expensive money... Most sex toys in every sex shop, including the best quality ones, are therefore from China. Even the Womanizer from 2024 is made in China (still 2023 in Germany).