Safety in BDSM play - lessons learned

Lessons for BDSM, restraint, enhancement of submissiveness and dominance

Allergic reaction test

First, test the toys for an allergic reaction: apply to the skin for a few minutes at least an hour before use. Whips, reprimands, etc. that cause bloody wounds should be tested more thoroughly, as an allergic reaction may occur after the skin has been broken.

Manifestations of oxygen deficiency in the body during sexual restraint and how to respond

Insufficient blood supply can be felt in the first stage by tingling, then by paleness of the skin. In this case, the affected person should immediately untie the contracted area to massage. For bondage, a special - thicker cotton rope. To distribute the pressure, the rope is wrapped around the load-bearing point several times depending on the load.

Strong tightening when restraining, cuffing, binding any part of the body including ligating the penis or breasts will restrict or prevent blood access. Do not tie or ligate for more than 60 minutes and always check for sensation in the ligated limb or other body part after 10 minutes. If not, release the device immediately. The same applies to erection rings and vacuum toys (e.g. pumps).

Lack of blood flow and oxygen can cause stupor, unexpected limitations in the ability to control muscles and a nasty fall while unconscious or with limited ability to cushion the fall. In extreme cases, death by asphyxiation. After release, be prepared for the need to immediately catch the released person to prevent them from falling.

Pay particular attention to malaise, nausea or phenomena indicating choking or impending loss of consciousness. In this case, immediately release the person and check that they are conscious and well.

Respect refusal to proceed and Stop signal

Especially for toys that restrict communication (gag, mask) or for painful sexual practices where the will of the submissive partner is not clear, it is advisable to agree on a signal from the submissive participant to stop all activities and release him/her - STOP signal. Whether the reason is excessive pain or discomfort, a feeling of threat, panic or a simple decision by the partner for no particular reason.

Always respect any honest hint from a partner not to proceed. In the excitement, even a STOP signal can be forgotten.

Erotic aids to restrict breathing

Some toys directly restrict breathing to enhance dominance or submissiveness (Gags, masks or collars). Or indirectly, e.g. partial chest contraction. These aids are not suitable for people with cardiac or respiratory problems (including e.g. colds).

Very dangerous with many deaths is the combination of breathing restriction and restraint when the person concerned is unable to free himself.

Higher oxygen consumption during pain and agitation and panic states

Increased oxygen consumption during orgasm or movement, a painful blow or other pain or discomfort should be taken into account.

A mask or gag is tolerable in a resting state, but this may no longer be true in an agitated state. Further, tying or covering the head or mouth can induce agitation or even a panic state with increased oxygen consumption.

The panic state may not be detected by the dominant partner. On the submissive partner, it manifests itself in the feeling that he cannot breathe and does not want to continue. However, the dominant partner may overlook or confuse the panic state in the submissive partner's immobilization and silencing with expressions of pain or discomfort that are otherwise tolerated by the submissive partner.

Failure to respect the panic state can have serious psychological and relational consequences.

Ensuring independent release from bondage or restraint

If the submissive participant is unable to remove the restraints or restraint by themselves, never leave the restrained person unattended. When restraining, ensure that at least 1 of the following conditions is met in the event of the dominant partner's incapacitation (e.g. fainting or more serious incapacitation)

a) the restrained person can free himself b) the restrained person can call for help (e.g. telephone within fingertip range) or c) the presence of a 3rd person able to help. We may have all seen the movie where after her husband's heart attack, the restrained woman amputated her own arm after a few days.

Erotic toys for bondage and restraint

For basic restraint, nylon harnesses are very often offered by other shops. These often cause cuts and abrasions. At similar or lower cost, they can easily be replaced by a good quality cotton rope or handcuffs a by chain with greater comfort and flexibility of restraint.